Time Wasters When is Enough Enough?

 

 

The old rule used to be a two year window if the relationship is not progressing in the way you would like within two years then move on. This two year window is fine if you are in your mid twenties and looking to settle down.

However women who are 35 years plus, the biological clock is usually ticking very loudly, especially if they have put their career before having a husband and children, so in my opinion two years is way too long to wait if you are already 35 and want marriage, a child/children. The reality is men can continue to pro-create into old age even into their sixties and seventies. Women can’t their eggs become less and less viable after 35 so time is of the utmost importance. I believe if after six months you don’t feel like the relationship is headed in the right direction then say good bye you cannot afford to waste valuable time on someone that does not want what you want.

There is another type of time waster aka: The Time Bandit who basically steals years and years of a woman’s life for no other reason but for the fact they have been allowed to, this type of time waster can be dating women of any age and can also be of any age.  The older version of this time waster is the main focus of this article.

The older time wasting, time bandit and when I say older I mean 45-70 years are broken up into two camps, The Ageing Playboy Camp and The confirmed Bachelor Camp.

The confirmed bachelor camp is just what it is the man is up-front and the woman essentially knows from the beginning that taking that next step, be it marriage or living together will not be on the cards any time soon if at all, so if she stays in a relationship with such a man it is her choice. Therefore any years given to this man and should the relationship come to an end, they are not wasted years as she gave them willingly.

The ageing, playboy, camp is one to avoid if you are of a certain age and looking to settle down with a companion, not necessarily marriage but you want some sort of commitment from him. The ageing, playboy timewaster is the worst kind because he basically gets the milk for free without buying the cow and that is his intention. He knows that he has no plans to commit to you, yet he leads you down the garden path throwing you little crumbs which for some reason seems to keep you satisfied. Before you know it years have flown by. When I say crumbs I mean he will tell you he loves you, but he has to sort himself out, to please hang in there he doesn’t want to lose you. He may disappear for days and then suddenly turn up and you are so glad to see him that you don’t really address the fact that you have not seen or heard from him in days. Even if you do confront him he will tell you any old crap because he knows you are more into him than he is into you and he will be forgiven.

You know in your heart of hearts that you are not the only woman in the ageing, playboy time waster’s life, he tells you that is not true, his phone died when you can’t reach him after a certain hour. All his actions point to the fact that he is playing the field yet you continue to entertain him because you have already invested all this time into him and you are sure he will one day wake-up realize you are the one and want to commit to you in some way. This is all wishful thinking, the fact is the ageing, playboy timewaster knows that the relationship is going to end at some point.  It doesn’t matter to him if it is one year or ten years, the problem with the ageing, playboy timewaster is he refuses to acknowledge he is getting up there in age, he is running around like a twenty six year old burning the candle at both ends, sooner or later the flame will meet in the middle, he thinks he is Peter Pan the problem is you are not Wendy!

You have to take responsibility for your own time when you are in your mid-forties you don’t have the two years to waste on the two year window rule.If you want just a quick roll in the hay, or someone to hang out with from time to time then the ageing, playboy timewaster is your man. If you want more than that I think six months will more than tell you if the man is a time waster or wants the same things you want. Remember tomorrow is not promised, do not let the time bandit rob you of your remaining years, when they could be filled with happiness and being with someone who is happy to be with you.

Are You Dating  A Time Bandit? Share your story here.